


You're All I've Got Left Now

by orphan_account



Category: Trainspotting (Movies), Trainspotting Series - Irvine Welsh
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mark needs some alone time when his dads funeral becomes too much, but where would he be without his best mate?
Relationships: Mark "Rent Boy" Renton/Simon "Sick Boy" Williamson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	You're All I've Got Left Now

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry Spud they have you too! Thanks a mill to hannah in the discord chat for the idea, they have amazing prompts! Hope yous all like this one:)

Silence hung tightly in the air as the crowd sat back onto the church pews. Heart problems, it was. Just like Mark himself.

In all his lifetime, Renton never expected the death of his father. He knew it would happen, just not now. Not so soon. He was away for his mother's death, and it broke every single sliver of his being while he done so. But he was addicted to getting away, escaping. He fled his troubles with skag. Then with robbing from his best friends. Even now he still feels the familiar itch, the wanting for something new.

It wasn't that he wasn't content. He loved Simons and recently, his flat. He loved spud being close by, and he used to love his father being there. That was torn away from him in violent grasps as people were beginning to light candles.

He fidgeted in his seat, noticing his relatives had all left their seats adjacent to him. He took a shaky breath and pulled himself up, careful not to make himself known in the small group of people who gathered just below the alter stairs. He slid himself outside quietly. He got away once again. 

He found himself a nice, secluded spot at the back end of the church, hidden by trees and whatnot. It began to dawn on him what really happened. That his dad was really gone. And that he threw 20 precious years of his time that could've been spent with the man in some country where he knew nobody, away from the only place he could truly ever call home. With Simon, and his parents and spud. Fuck. 

He heard his heartbeat pound in his ears as he bit his lip to conceal a sob. He hadn't cried yet. He didn't cry when he got the news. It was like his overdose all over again. The life drained from his body, he felt just as dead as his father was. Of course he didn't believe it. He prayed it was some sort of sick joke doctors liked to play. Surely enough, it wasn't. 

Like, his dad was fine one minute. Pottering away at home, humming some tune off god knows what. Then he dropped, the doctors said it was probably the head trauma that killed him. 

"He could've been saved." was the only thought that played over and over like one of Simon worn Sean fucking Connery movies. Of course it wasn't rational, the doctors never said he could've been saved. But Mark blamed himself. Tears soaked his suit. He felt so fake like this, dressed up nicely when all he wanted to do was to curl up and ignore all the world. He was sick and tired of hearing that people were sorry for his loss, he knew people were sorry so why couldn't they leave him alone? 

He folded in on himself as he sat perched on a stone structure of some kind. Feeling like the world was about to cave in on itself, or maybe it already had. 

Unbeknownst to him Simon was frantically searching the church and the front courtyard for him. Wanting to know if he was okay. He couldn't deal with himself if his best mate had went and done himself in, of course his mind jumped to the worst case scenario. He let out a sigh of relief as he rushed down the side alley of the establishment to his friend. 

"Mark yer after gien us dae fright ae a lifetime, how are ye dain?" Simon spoke in his same confident tone as he sat down beside him, but that tone soon dropped as he noticed the sorry state the bloke was in.   
He'd only seen him like this once, when they were both way younger. He knew how vulnerable Mark felt then. 

He didn't know what to do this time around, but then again they were older now. And who isn't able to be vulnerable around their best friend of 40 years. Si reached a hand out and softly placed it around Rentons shoulders, to which he shivered and turned away from the attempt Si made at consoling him. 

"C'moan rents, ye cannae dae this tae yersel. Am here for yae. Ken?" Simon whispered softly, aware of the prying voices who lurked around the corner. He attempted again to reach out to renton, he didn't retaliate this time. Simply sitting there, letting quiet sobs out while Sickboy had a go at helping him.

" its hard, ah ken. Ye'll be alrite Rents, ye've always been alr-"   
Sickboy winced as the man in his arms pulled back.  
"alright? Al-fookin-right? Ah wus alright wen ah wus 26 an' so skagged oot ma heid that a couldnae form a fookin coherent sentence. But ah wasted mah life Si, everythin' goan doon da drain nae!" Renton hissed angrily. Pulling away and siting further along the structure. 

Simon anticipated his next move, the atmosphere growing increasingly tense. But when he noticed Mark's eyes well up with tears again he opened his arms. The brunette flopped into his arms, limp and weakened by the recent events. 

He could understand that, but this time Simon wouldn't run away like Mark had all those years ago. He'd do his job, he'd protect him.   
"i didnae mean that tae brush ye oaf, yer ma best mate and a ken ye loong enuff tae ken ye can make it through this. An' me... I'll dae it with ye, when ye need us all be there.. Like," 

Mark continued to bawl, soaking Simons shirt too. But the blonde man never stopped his train of thought, whispering things in Marks ear and soothingly rubbing his back. 

" Ye wer' always stronger dain me, in everything. But ah still luhv ye.. "  
Renton peeked his head up, still gripping tightly to the bleached blondes shirt. The tears never stopped their flow but at least he looked less empty. 

"haha, ah ken, bitta ae weird time tae say it. We cain talk aboot it wen yae feel better Rents. Dinnae worry, am gonnae take ye home after all dis is dain and ye cain rest. I'll make yae ookay,"  
He placed a soft kiss on the mans forehead, who leaned upwards responsively.   
" yer all ah have left Simon.." he croaked weakly.   
" An am gonnae make sure that you're content wih da, ah promise. "  
They sat there in comfortable silence, loving the undivided attention they were able to give and receive as nobody had found their little hiding spot yet. 

Rentons wailing had died down slightly now. Little sniffles here and there. But Simon still insisted on keeping him as close as possible, and as much as renton may have protested earlier. He wouldn't have it any other way. 

"ah love ye tae si, if ye were wonderin'" 

All isn't particularly well, but maybe it could be from now on.


End file.
